I turned 25 over the Christmas period and one of my birthday gifts was a mental breakdown. I battled with the feeling that, due to Coronavirus, I was missing out on crucial experiences that young people are meant to have. I had a quarter-life-crisis if you will.
On reflection, I should be grateful. I was able to have the quintessential university experience that first years in 2020/21 would’ve killed for. But this way of thinking is probably one of the things that is damaging my mental health the most profoundly.
The expectation to “live your best life” in your late teens into your 20s can be crippling and social media only makes it worse.
Studying at my second university is very different to my first attempt. When I was 19 I moved to London to study for three years. The fresher’s events were open to be experienced every year, by everyone. So of course, I went to every event, every year I was there.
Let me tell you, I had an epic time.
I don’t think my housemates knew a sober version of me. We had boat parties on the Thames, we had club nights where every university in the city was invited, we had all white dress code parties, fancy dress bar crawls, music gigs, and quiz nights at the local spoons, and we went hard every single night.
Being a little bit older now and embarrassingly considered a mature student *shivers*, I’m not so bothered about the partying side of university. As a middle-aged mum might say, “I’ve had my fun.” But I do harbour some sympathetic guilt for the freshers of today. The 19 to 20-year-olds who I now call my classmates have had a terrible time of it.
First, they couldn’t take their exams and got lumbered or blessed – depending on how well they progressed in their first year of sixth form – with their predicted grades at A-Levels. Then they were slapped with a 10 o’clock curfew and a 6-member household limit when eating or drinking out. Meaning poor old Danny in a flat with 7 people knocking about was left to sit at home on a sort of piss-up rota until it was his turn again. Not to mention the frustrations of online learning while also living independently for the first time in their lives.
Even when they did follow the rules, Gen-Z still took the blame for accelerating the spread of the virus. And to make it worse, while all this was going on Mr Johnson and the Number 10 staff were living my Freshers 1.0 life. Although theirs was more cheese and wine as opposed to vodka and a kebab.
From all this, I’ve learned that you can’t live life on expectations, especially during a global pandemic. Just because you aren’t able to do the things other people have done or are doing, doesn’t mean you are failing your “prime years”. It doesn’t mean your life doesn’t have meaning or it won’t go anywhere.
Now, hopefully I can learn to take my own advice…
