April 2020, was when I attended my grandad’s socially distanced funeral, which at the time the circumstances were kind of normalised. Yet, looking back, it was a completely bizarre and cold situation. My grandad spent his last months in a care home and with the Covid restrictions at the time, I wasn’t allowed to visit him. Dealing with a death of a relative is hard at any time in your life, however the elements of Covid brought a whole new level of guilt. I wish I could have spent those last moments spending quality time with him, instead of over a screen.
At the end, we were in a completely helpless situation, after finding out one of the patients in his care home had caught Covid, we knew it was a matter of time before it spread to the rest of the residents. Having to wait to hear the news of your loved one passing without being able to see them was probably the worst part of the whole situation.
The funeral itself was the opposite of how it should have been. A funeral should be a way for relatives to come together, to comfort each other, to hug and celebrate the life of the loved one they’ve lost. Instead, only 10 of us were allowed to attend; we had to sit distanced from each other without hugging. Although it was a beautiful service, it felt like an injustice.
So then when that’s contrasted to how other people across the country were spending their time, holding parties with over 100 people, it does feel like a kick in the teeth. Even more so when those people are those who set the rules for the rest of us. Whilst Downing Street were having drinks in the sun, we were having to sacrifice our mental health. We had to accept the fact we couldn’t spend relative’s final weeks with them and we were not able to properly celebrate their lives.
It felt as if were all against each other, they were preaching about not being selfish and looking out for one another, when they were the ones breaking their own rules.
